Archives for the month of: July, 2012

The Fairy Pools on the Isle of Syke in Scotland – who wants to go here!?

from trekearth.com

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I went to lunch with a new friend the other day. Her husband has just come home from field and she was telling me about the joyful reunion he had had with their children. We remarked on how the hello’s definitely make the goodbye’s worth it.

It’s this concept that I’m reflecting on currently, with SB’s homecoming in the next few days.

This life is such a cycle; a rollercoaster; a wave. We go from the stress of preparing for their departure, to the heartbreak of watching them walk away, to the exhausting loneliness of them being gone, then the excited and frustrating countdown to their return, the awkward and joyous reunion, and the difficult and fun readjustment, and finally the waiting for the next cycle to begin.

At least these are the steps as I see them…

So far, I’ve experienced these steps with 3weeks, 20 hours, 3days, and 1 month in between homecoming and farewell.

The shorter the amount of time, the more squished the steps are; in our 20 hours at marchout, the countdown started weeks before, but the reunion and readjustment blended into one, quick step, and the anticipation of the goodbye loomed way too quickly. Where as when we had this month together, we had plenty of time to enjoy the downtime between reunion and departure.

It’s such a funny life, isn’t it!? People say it’s unpredictable, and yes, it is. But in a way, this cycle is so, well, cyclical, there is a certain predictability to it. Sure plans change, last minute notice is given, dates are vague, but I know what to expect in the way that when I say hi, I know I will have to say bye again sometime soon. I know that when I’m feeling the stress of impending departure, there will be a point in the future when I feel the flipside, excited anticipation of his return.

I’m coming to love this life, and focusing on the flipside, especially when my current ‘side’ is gloomy, is certainly something which is contributing to that.

xxx

Noosa. I miss the beach & home

I haven’t posted much lately; sorry, nothing to say. Just been sick, & counting down the days until SB is home

just from a google search, Noosa was always my favorite beach!

I told you I would be honest. Honestly…at the moment I’m struggling. I don’t mean that I’m like sitting in the corner, rocking back and forth, crying and eating my hair; just that I’m finding everything very draining at the moment.

I try and stay positive; mostly because I have a history as a negative person, and I feel like I could quickly slip back into that mindset, which I know isn’t helpful for anyone. Staying positive has really helped in the last year, and I certainly don’t want to become someone who does sit in the corner, rocking back and forth, crying and eating my hair.

Positivity doesn’t mean I have to find everything stellar, all the time though. The flip side of being a hair-eater is being a squeeky, bouncy cheerleader who ignores every feeling other than those which are equated with rainbows and ponies; and I certainly don’t want to be that either (even though I was a cheerleader in high school (it’s not as glamorous as teeny-bopper films would have you believe)).

I miss my husband. I’m in a new place, with nothing to do, and the boredom and loneliness gets to me. Yesterday the doctor actually told me to relax – that was an actual doctor’s order. He offhandedly said, “well ____ could be caused by stress, or…” and continued to list a few more options. I stopped him. “It’s stress”, I said. Of course it is.

So now I must try and relax, which is hard when I find myself needing to get ahold of my husband, due to family things, and he’s out in the middle of nowhere, with no comms, so they actually have to send a messenger out to him. (They were super helpful, and got the message to SB.)

The point of this dribble, is not to complain woe-is-me; I understand the importance of what SB is doing, I wouldn’t want him to come home now because he’s doing his job.

I guess I actually don’t have a point, and writing this post has made me feel better because as I’m writing this line, I’m realising how silly and self-centred I sound. This is his job, yes I may be bored, but that isn’t his fault, and it certainly doesn’t count as a struggle. I need to suck it up and try to change bored into relaxed. haha

lovely.

from here, via Pinterest

after two bonus weeks, SB left for field. I could get really upset, angry, or annoyed at it all, but instead I choose to see the funny sides…let me explain…

for the past couple of weeks, we were told, ‘you’ll probably go tomorrow’…everyday. haha so each day, we prepared for it to be our last. we made no future plans, we were nicer to each other (lol), and we both looked at the phone expectantly every time it rang. Then the same people who kept saying ‘tomorrow’ (I assume), said they didn’t think he would go at all; so we started to relax in to SB being home. It was about this time, when we were making plans for Territory day, and I started to think that maybe he would be here for my birthday (today), that the phone rang…

hahahahahahaha (I just have to stop and giggle at myself)

of course, it was this one time that I did not look at the phone, SB didn’t even answer it, that we got the message that he was on a flight in 12 hours. so I suppose the lesson here is beware when you relax and plan (even if it’s only 1 day in advance, haha, I will never ask “what should we do tomorrow” again!)

I originally started to think about the weird, ironic, silly things that this life makes me do though, when I hopped in the shower at 10:30pm to shave my legs. it’s like a reflex; SB: “i’m going field”, Me: “then I must shave my legs!”. what other lives lead to frantic de-fuzzing in the middle of the night? love it

So instead of being upset that I missed the fireworks, and I’m alone on my birthday, and my legs are now prickly again, I will giggle at all the weird, ironic and silly things, take every dog lick as a birthday present and enjoy the fact that I don’t have to shave my legs again for at least 3 weeks if I don’t want to. hahaha

xxx

I know I haven’t posted a snap the last few weeks; I plan on making up for that today!

SO excited to share with you our news…we got another baby!

Our new home didn’t feel complete, so we have added a precious baby girl to our family!

Jawa was born on Anzac day, so she is the perfect addition to our Army family.

She arrived yesterday, here are some photos of her first day…

brother & sister meeting! Lando did so well!

sweet girl

hehe she’s SO cute!

sleeping jawa! look at her cute little tongue!

lando is a great big brother!

We chose Jawa to continue with the Star Wars theme…

a jawa

…and it turned out to be perfect because the two little tan spots on her eyebrows look just like eyes poking out of a hood.

Now to train her…back to sleepless nights as she howls. This time I dropped a note in all of the neighbours mailboxes introducing ourselves and asking for their patience. haha

at least this time, SB is home. He’s such a great daddy!