I realised that I forgot to do a post when we reached our one year mark. I’m in Brisbane right now seeing family and friends, and it slipped my mind. I suppose I don’t need to explain, by now it’s evident that I’m a total blog-slacker!

so it’s been {more than} a year since J left for Kapooka…gee! SO much has changed, and it feels like a very long year.

I’ve been asked a few times recently – by new Army WAGS – for advice in dealing with it, or just more information about what to expect. I feel anything but qualified to give such advice, and each person will have their own unique way of dealing with things, and a different experience, but for me, there are a few key lessons that I’ve learnt…

FLEXABILITY

This is THE biggest lesson I’ve had to learn, and I still struggle with. I think it’s because I expect the Army to be super organised (when you hear military it {used to} conjur images of organisation, precision, discipline, etc to me); they are not. I mean I assume this is due to the fact that every little decision must go up and down the rank – I get that it’s not an easy thing to organise. So you have to learn to NEVER make plans. Once I started to accept that we could never make plans, and that we’d just have to ‘wait and see’ about everything {including how the birth of our child will go down}, it’s a bit easier, but there are times {like when you’re trying to decide if your mother should come to Darwin just in case J is away for the birth} when not knowing is torture. So I’m still working on it, but for me, that is the biggest lesson this last year has taught me.

INDEPENDENCE

When we were first together, and first married I remember feeling like I simply could not live apart from J. I remember complaining at work one day {we were both shift workers working opposite shifts} that I had only seen my husband for a few hours at a time for the past few days; it seems so silly now! I’ve not only learnt that I will in fact survive when he is away, I’ve also learnt that I can thrive and I can take care of myself. Do I like our time apart, well no, not really, some days I HATE it but there actually are times where I don’t mind being apart. As long as he’s away for a purpose, I can deal with separation, and I can focus ahead, on the fact that we will get to say ‘hello’soon enough. I had a moment a few weeks ago where I realised how far I’ve come, and how self-suficient I can be; I had to climb on a chair, 5 months pregnant, at the top of our staircase, and hang out over the balcony to change the outside light; that would not have happened pre-army, haha.

LOVE

There are so many more lessons I’ve learnt {which can be browsed here}, but the most important one is how much I love this man; every crappy day apart, every heart-sinking moment, even living in Darwin {hehe} is all immensly worth it. I would follow him anywhere {clearly}, and I feel honoured to be able to support him every day. This past year has not been easy, but in the end I think it has made our partnership, friendship, love and marriage so much stronger. I can’t wait to see what this second year has in store for us, there are some big things in the works, and it may include both our best and worst times, but after surviving this year, I know that if we let it, it can just make us even better!

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