I’ve spoken before (a lot) about the need to be flexible when it comes to the Army. Usually not knowing anything until the last minute isn’t anything more than a bit annoying. I can usually just sigh and say “well we’ll know eventually” and not worry too much about it.

Not this time.

This time we know that there is a pre-deployment exercise in the month that I’m due to have our first baby, but we don’t know when the exercise is. We don’t even know for sure if J is going on the exercise.

The rumors and “heads-up” all started months ago, and we kind of just went with our usual wait-and-see approach, but as the belly gets larger and there’s still no information, the panic sets in.

We talked about having my mum come up as soon as he left, but we didn’t want her to waste all of her holiday time waiting on a baby who will probably (like most first babies) come late (but that isn’t guaranteed to).

Then we talked to the doctors about inducing me, but they (and I) weren’t too keen on that plan, and it’s impossible to schedule something like that when you have no dates!

Then we made a back-up plan, where I would go to Brisbane for my due-month if J was going.

Well the not knowing and waiting was getting to be too much stress for us both, so we’ve just gone ahead and made a plan.This time, instead of me fitting into J’s plans, J is going to fit into mine.

I will go to Brisbane right before 37 weeks, and stay until the baby is born. J will meet me there when he can, and we will bring our bub home together.

This plan guarantees that I will have support around me, but at the same time, it pretty much guarantees that J will miss the birth, which breaks my heart and was always one of my greatest Army fears. I hate the idea of J missing it, and I know he does too, but we’re trying to focus on the positives;

I’ll be surrounded by family and friends, and everyone will get to meet the baby much sooner than they would have, which will be nice and eliminate the issue of who comes to Darwin when; and while he may miss the actual birth, J will have some time with bub before he deploys (if he deploys). Ultimately we are focusing on the fact that in a year from now, all of this will be over, J will be home, and our family will be together.

While this plan is far from my first choice, it will be ok, and at the end of the day I will have a beautiful son who is loved by so many people – especially his daddy.

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