For the first time in awhile, I actually have things to write about, but don’t get the time with the baby! My sister’s just put him down for a nap though, so I’m going to try and write this quickly!

J has surprised me a few times. He’s told me different arrival times and then shown up early. At the time, I thought this was fun (even though I was usually sus), and harmless. Turns out, this is my NUMBER ONE NO-NO of Army Wife life. These harmless little surprises have created an extremely cruel expectation in my mind.

This weekend was my best friend’s wedding. J was going to try to come, but eventually they told him he couldn’t (that’s another {infuriating} story). No matter how much evidence there was that he was telling the truth, and no matter how many times I told myself, “you are being an idiot! he said he’s not coming!”, there was still a part of me that kept expecting him to just show up.

For a whole week, I was on edge, waiting to see him appear, even while he was sending me photos of himself at our house. Every time he took a few hours to respond to a text, I thought “he’s on the plane!”. Every time I drove to my in-laws, I expected to find him sitting there, and for all of them to laugh about the secret they’d been keeping.

but every time I got a response, or showed up at my in-laws and he wasn’t there, and I would have that disappointed, sinking feeling again.

I hate my brain for playing this trick on me. It’s not his fault; he clearly told me that he wasn’t going to make it! Damn him anyways though, for ever surprising me!

So if you’re reading this, and you’re like me, DO NOT let your soldiers EVER surprise you! Even the tiniest surprise appearance can set up a horrific expectation that will haunt you for years.